Did you get my message?

Life goes on, it's what we say. We walk this winding road together. What they say is that we move on, we just can't. No, we just can't.

Step forward and accept our fate, step back and deny our destiny. I am but a simple pawn, you are my king. Do with me as you wish.

Tell me to move on and I will. Tell me to step back and I will.

No, stay right here. Never move on, but never look back. There is much to be done.
I can't stay here while you move on, I just can't.
But you must, I was not meant to stay here for long. I have this chance and I will take it, it will be much better for me and for the both of us.

If I must, I will accept. If there is nothing more, I wish you the best.

Goodbye my friend, goodbye my king, goodbye to you.

I pretty much enjoyed my trip to S.F. for fourth of July. I also enjoyed nerding out with fellow gamers.
Also, the fireworks were cool. Except we missed the bigger fireworks. Either way, the next day the weather was great!
All in all, I enjoyed myself with Javier and Chris. FUCK YEAH.

housematehorror
Horror stories from the world of shared living spaces. EEK!

Would you do meth if it was legalized?
Not at all.



Abortion: for or against?
I believe the woman should be entitled to do what she wants with her body. Too many children are left in foster care because a parent had a drunken one night stand. If you can't take care of the child, do not have it and use protection.





Would our country fall with a woman president?
I'm not too sure, I don't pay much attention to politics. I don't really think the country is even ready for a black president. So either way, woman or black man. The country is in for change.




Do you believe in the death penalty?
I always wonder if I believed in it or not. I don't like the idea of killing for another killing. I just don't like it in general. I still think that regardless, if you are pressing the switch or injecting the needle. You are killing that person. You should be held accountable, regardless if it's your job. I just don't like murder.




Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
Yeah, it would save a lot of people from getting in trouble for a drug that's not as bad as many of the other drugs out on the streets. It should be controlled though, like cigarettes and alcohol. 





Are you for or against premarital sex?
Whomever is involved, it's up to them.





Do you believe in God?
I refuse to believe completely in something I have NEVER before seen in my life. I believe there are many Gods though, but not completely because of the fact that there is no physical evidence (experience). Personal or not, that someone has TRULY talking to a God. One thing is that people will believe in the most RIDICULOUS things and yet they believe that a God exists. What is this shit?





Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
Of course! Why should anyone's marriage be illegal? If marriage isn't an option for every single person in this United States, then it should not be an option for anyone at all. There is supposed to be a separation of church and state and the United States does not enforce that. Marriage is a joke now. They say that you are wed underneath the eyes of God, but what about people going to Vegas and doing a quickie marriage? What about those with different religious views? I just think we are all entitled to the same rights, screw what religious hypocrites and states have to say.




Do you think its wrong that so many Hispanics are moving to the USA?
Not at all, everyone should be welcome here. We get a lot of freedoms that others in other countries don't always get. I just think that if you are going to be moving to another country, you should at least make an effort to learn the language. If I was moving to Mexico, I would at least try to learn more Spanish. If I was moving to France, I would learn French!  Come on now...




A 12 year old girl has a baby..should she keep it?
She's too young to even be having sex in the first place. It's up to what her family thinks she should do and what she thinks.





Should the alcohol age be lowered to 18?
Yes it should be. Why are there so many things we can do at the age of 18 and why is drinking the only one we have to wait till we are 21 for? Like Stevie before me said, if we are old enough to go across seas and fight for our country when we turn 18, why can't we purchase alcohol? So we can die before we enjoy a drink or two with friends?

There are worse things than being able to drink at 18, just change it already.




Should the war in Iraq be called off?
I do not like war at all. Granted, in some ways it can help things, but too many people are dying. Too much hatred is flowing from one side to the other. It's a mess.





Assisted suicide is illegal..do you agree?
If you don't want to live, then so be it. I do think that there is always something to live for. Even if not for yourself, for others. Although like the death penalty question, those who assist in the suicide should be charged for murder since they are in one way or another killing them by providing them with a service.
Bah!



Do you believe in spanking your children?
I don't like hitting children, but sometimes a spanking is what kids need to get in line. Some kids are FAR too out of control and sometimes it's the only way to get them into control. It's simple, just spank their bottom and that's it. There is no need for spoons, shoes, belts or anything on any part of their body.
Although it is frustrating when people can't distinguish between child abuse and a simple spanking.





Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
It's just a freaking flag. Like Stevie said, it just symbolizes freedom. If we have freedom, we should be able to burn a flag.
Like I started this off with, IT'S JUST A FREAKING FLAG.




A mother is declared innocent after murdering her 5 children in a temporary insanity case..what do you think?
Oh no no, temporary insanity is the biggest cop out. One is either insane or not. There is such a thing as blind rage. In order to kill 5 children, you must have thought about it before and even thought about the fact that you just killed a kid before the one you are killing now. Some thought must cross your mind as they slowly die. C'mon...





It's between you and a person who is being kept alive by life support machines.. one has to die? Who?
If I am able to go out and live life without being on life support, I would rather it be the person on life support. If I was to die and they would be stuck with life support for life, that wouldn't do anyone any good. At least I could go out and live life to the fullest for a person who cannot.





Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Why would I be. I think this is a very good survey and brings up very interesting topics. I think everyone should take this!

Pride was fantastic this year! I really did enjoy it. I don't think I laughed this hard in such a long time and I have Joey and Robert to thank for that. They kept me completely entertained.

I shared a room with Javier where we both experienced, things in there. Him more so than me though! We did not eat much, we drank mostly. We were so tired on Sunday. Regardless, we pulled through and enjoyed ourselves!

I got to meet several people from myspace, not all of them, but most of them. There was so much walking involved and so much chaffing!

Friday night is a big blur, but a great night none the less.
Saturday was a great day all together, except the pink party ended way too early.
Sunday was great, but not so much when you're tired and cold!

I would write in more detail, but I will let pictures explain it more. I'm still tired and I have laundry to do. An appointment to get my eyes checked (which means I'm going to get new glasses!) and then the gym to work off all the alcohol I ingested this weekend!

I actually feel like I have come back from this Pride just a little bit different than I did going into it. Not a bad thing actually, a very good thing.

I love it.

Pictures here! http://www.flickr.com/photos/silentprotext/sets/72157605899835244/

dwseason4
A journal where the alternative fourth season of the TV show Doctor Who is being written.

lol_comics
Keep youself smiling at the little things with some funny comics.

bikes
A community for everyone who loves bicycles, motorbikes, and more.

I don't think I'll ever lose that fear of being touched on the backs of my knees. Or that fear that as I get older it'll just get worse, skin stretching over veins I'll be able to feel more clearly. I fear I'll be nearly translucent, and I feel like if I scratch a little too hard, I'll peel off in flakes, like of that waxy paper that comes on muffins. I sit with my feet on the ground in front of me, knees bent slightly, and push my fingers into the hard tendons on the under-part of my leg, and the squishy inner part between the tendons, almost enjoying the shudder that it brings on. I know it's coming, and these days, the feeling of being able to count on something to be there is rare. Everything's changing. And I know you know how I feel about change.

The grass is cold, which does not suit the air, which is warm for spring. The contrast is unsettling, and just to push myself over the uncomfortable edge even more, I ease myself down and lie with my arms around my knees, and rub the side of my face in the grass. I know you're here, but not just because they told me that you're here. I can feel it.

I remember the day when you looked me square in the eyes and said that I didn't have to pretend, and I couldn't look away, though I wanted to. I don't know what made me so uncomfortable about that. Maybe it was because I knew that I was pretending, that I was pretending all the time. How would you feel if I told you that I've been trying to stop, now? Would you believe me if I told you that? Or would you take it like the lover of an alcoholic takes the empty promises, with a smile and a reassuring nod? "I'm so sorry, baby, I'll quit this. I'll quit this for you, baby. I'm so so sorry."

You used to make me feel so free. And I know that sounds stupid and cliche, but it's the closest I can come to describing it. I've yet to figure out who I am, and now I think I never will, now that you're gone, but I got the closest to it when I was with you. You brought me to the edge of that golden place, and we stood there together. It was never something I sought to pay attention to, except to fret about it when you weren't around. When I was with you, I didn't need to pay attention to it, and I guess that was the solace you offered. I just was. I never had to think about what that entailed. And now you're gone and I can't stop.

I always used to wish with every touch that you'd swallow me up. It was like the contact we had was never enough. I wanted every part of you, all the time, and never wanted to let it go. I wanted to melt us together. And now I would give anything for the tiniest contact. I want one more chance to feel the tips of your fingers drumming rhythms I can't follow on the tops of my hands. I close my eyes and drum something on the grass above you. It's a familiar something, not like the ones you used to just make up, but it's all I've got.

It's a song I know you knew, and part of me hopes you can feel it. I sing along in my head, and not out loud, because in my head I can hear your voice. That's the one I want to hear, not my hoarse one. I remember the first time I sang for you, because I had to, and you smiled, and for a second I was proud of myself. You always brought out the parts of me I was too afraid to acknowledge, and helped me acknowledge them.

The grass is cold, which does not suit my memories of you, which are warm and thick and drown me in feelings, half of which I have no name for. The contrast is unsettling. I push my hands into the grass, grab fistfuls of it, pull it up in clumps and then shake off the pieces. Is this the closest I'll ever be to you, now? It hits me, but not with a bang. It's soft, and slow, and cold, like the man putting the cover on the sick dog's eyes before he shoots it. Like I am the dog and the whole world is the man, crooning condolences, having known the whole time that this was what had to happen, and me, just seeing it now, seeing it too late.

I'm not sure if I'll ever lose that fear of being touched on the backs of my knees. Or that fear that as I get older, everything will just get worse, days becoming weeks becoming months becoming years of wasted time and people I wish I could get back. So I'll live every day until I run out of days, and join you wherever you might be: high up above, or down below. I stand, and just for good measure, as I do so, I scrape my fingernails into the squishy skin between the tendons on the under-parts of my legs. I push off the shudder, this time, breathing through it. Maybe there's a way I can do that with all the fear, and all the pretending, and find a way to make you proud of me. Maybe I can make it change. But I know you know how I feel about change.

Picking out clothes for the entire weekend is really a task.

But I have come to a decision, I hope!

Friday Day/Night: Will be decided when the day comes.

Saturday Day: My DJ Monkey shirt with Gray pinstripe shorts and possibly those Gray Hurley shoes, but I don't want to match my shorts to my shoes so I may change those to a different pair. Perhaps sandals, but it is San Francisco and I sure as hell don't want to walk around with sandals.

Saturday Evening/Night (The Pink Party): My black shirt with the Red Skulls on the front left (or right, I don't remember) and blue jeans or perhaps gray jeans, I haven't decided that part just yet. I will let that come to me on that night while I'm drunk or something. These will go with my black with three white striped Adidas (they really are beautiful shoes).

Sunday All Day: My greenish brown (more like earth tones) shorts. Along with my DKNY tan shirt which has quite nifty designs on it, but aren't too bold. On top of that an off white button up that has an odd every other spot/dot/stripe design and when I flip the end of the sleeves there are blue flower designs on it. Along with that I will have my brown slip-on with the skull on the top of the shoe.

Accessories: Black studded belt, and some other belt to go with the Sunday outfit. Along with that, two sweat arm bands. One of which says "HUG A STRANGER" and the other says, "I <3 Stewie" and has a picture of Stewie's head on it.  Another bracelet I'm taking is this small one that is red and in white and black it says "SUCK IT". That one I will be wearing the night of the Pink Party, because it goes with my shirt and I might as well be a little sexual without actually saying anything. HA!

Extras: I brought along a few extra shirts. One is an A&F shirt that says " I <3 Large Mouths" and has a picture of a large mouth bass on it. It's blue. The other one is a lighter blue and it has a cute little squirrel with a microphone I believe.

Other Extras: These are all the thing I need. Toothpaste, hair gel, body wash, face wash, and all that fun little things to make me look pretty.

All in all, I'm sort of satisfied with my decision on what to wear on each day. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the wear Saturday night. I tried to decide between the shirt I'm going to wear and this other one which is also black with an odd design on it and splitting it all is a sword, but I find the shirt I am sticking to will look much better in either jean and won't mean wearing TOO much dark color.

Yes I know, I am making a much bigger deal about what to wear for this weekend, but I always do. Mainly because I want to look good. I think of this as a little mini vacation and look forward to it! Call me crazy, but I will probably end up STILL trying to decide what to wear. I just thought I would share with you fine people (for those of you who read and care).

I wish I could decide on shoes, or at least have some more choices for shoes. I would wear some converse, but they are high tops and may be a little much. This would also mean having to create a new outfit, but then again that may give me an outfit for Friday night.

I would consider bringing hats, but I cut my hair so I wouldn't have to. I would much rather have it styled the entire time, instead of covering it up. No matter how wonderful the hats are and how much I like them. I may go to the store tomorrow just to check out anything I may want to get and change an outfit. I really want to wear an button up over the shirt for Saturday night. Something with a nice design, but is also black. I know the whole black on black thing is outdated (maybe?), but we will see where this goes.


I am looking for some advice. I know I should just wear whatever because I will still be cute, but still. (Oh, my head just got bigger). I remember exactly what I wrote last year and this year I have some better clothes and want to look damn good!

Advice? Do tell!

Thanks for reading.

I never cease to be amazed with the kindness Justin extends to me daily. After reading personality traits with Rae last night, specifically the paragraph in my page that described how I apparently will only succeed in romantic relationships with painfully giving people, I feel more selfish that I'm holding onto him so tightly. He is truly wonderful, and I do not deserve him, and I must learn to treat him better.

I've lost the only love letter I've ever received, which I need to recover, if only for the sake of having it.

My CD drive in my computer is being a dick, so it won't play any CDs I put in, no matter what they are. I figure I'll take it apart one of these days.

Possibly leaving for Goose Rocks Beach on Saturday. I need to telephone my father and work that out.

I have a splitting headache all of a sudden. And my worries are swelling each day that passes. They probably are not helping.

I hope you are having a wonderful time at writing camp, Stephanie.

knitted_wedding
Follow one woman's quest to knit an entire vow-renewing wedding. Encouragement is encouraged.

brigits_flame
For writers interested in an ongoing competition that tests your narrative chops.

hollow_art
A longstanding art, icon and base archive centered around RPGs.